when I was younger
I thought I knew what it
took to make me happy
but as time flies by the sureness
of my intentions seem to waver
like a leaf floating on the breeze
of a gorgeous spring day; if only
I had listened to my first instinct
and tried for many ideas of my
imaginative nature; maybe they
would have flowered into something
solid and sure; a foundation to build
upon to make my life a more enjoyable
existence instead of working even
harder as I get older to persevere
in my dreams to leave a piece
of me to endure for future generations
My days lack any real excitement
it’s just one ordinary thing after another
wash the dishes, clean the floors
and don’t forget to swab the toilet
Gross! I hate that with a vengeance
for very obvious reasons; the litany
of my days could stretch for miles
and miles into infinity if it wasn’t for
my blog and writing itself. I practice
the art of creating word pictures in
between times of menial tasks; it
breaks up the monotony of regular
life and day to day living in an
ordinary home of a woman with
big dreams and a warm heart
working to make my purest fantasies
a reality in the midst of the ordinary.
There is only one phrase
that I know sets my heart
to singing; it’s such a simple
phrase, but it means so much.
I love you, the one thing that
could mend everything if people
would let it; the only thing that
matters to me in my world. Give
it a whirl in yours with someone today.
when I’m feeling down
and there’s no one to save me
you take the time to hold me
and whisper, I love you. Nothing
calms the fears and uplifts the
spirits like those three words do
It’s like a salve to a burn on my heart
magically the pain just seems to go
away; no more worries, no more
sadness; happiness is here to stay
Note: I just couldn’t help myself. I had to go and write not one poem, but two poems. I felt inspired. Anyway, I hope you like. Let me hear from you down in the comments.
I miss my portable cassette tape player/recorder. I used to get blank audio cassettes and tape my favorite songs off the radio. I couldn’t afford full-fledged cassettes; the blank ones were way cheaper. Once in a while, I could buy regular tapes ( that’s what I called cassettes then) which was a treat. Olivia Newton-John’s Physical was my absolute favorite. I played that tape over and over again.
Although there were downsides to tapes back in the 80’s as there is to everything. Here’s my attempt at free verse about it. I hope you like.
pop in the cassette
press record and play
at the same time
watch the reels spin
round and round
as they capture
your song like
magic for you
to enjoy until the
tape snarls in the
and you have to
untangle it from
around the pole
then smooth out
the wrinkles and roll
it back up into its
case and with luck
it will still play
for you again
I could get struck by lightning
out of the clear blue sky
a boulder could come tumbling
down a mountain ravine
knocking me down
never to be seen
in this life; a careening
semi could come screeching
over top me leaving nothing
but pieces of me scattered
over the interstate; thoughts
of a bloody end leaves me shivering
to the very core; all these events
are worst case scenarios, but
the worse for me would be
losing the love of my family
and friends; how worse
could it be than being alone
Reason to believe? What is my reason to believe? Hmm. Maybe it’s my stubborn optimism facing each and every day. Even when I run into terrible and hard things, I still believe the world will be just a little bit better tomorrow. I can feel disheartened sometimes by the awful things that people do in this world. But, down deep, I have an endless supply of “the sun will come out tomorrow.” And you seen what happened to her. She ended up with a rich daddy and soon-to-be mommy and servants. Jeesh louise! Talk about never giving up.
I’ll know I won’t get that lucky. Besides, I’m too old for a rich daddy and I don’t think my boyfriend would like me hanging out with another guy, even if he was loaded. Nah. That’s over the rainbow. My unending confidence, I think, stems from my kids. I refuse to believe that the world, as we know it, will not improve. Despite all the awful tragedies taking place, or in spite of them, I know there can be good here. At least, in my little corner of it. I think of all the beauty and good deeds that people do every day without wanting anything in return. All the acts of charity and reaching out to touch another soul in some small way. I get so emotional at times like that.
My kids instill faith in me because I feel they will have it better than I did. And I’m not talking about making more money. I believe they will have options and many doors to choose from. They get to decide which door to go through. Heck, they could even go back and choose a different one. If they want to move to Los Angeles and become corporate big wigs or they decide to dedicate their life to disadvantaged people by serving in the Peace Corps, I’ll be fine with any decision they make. I’m their mom, their cheerleader, and I always have their back.
My reason to believe lies within myself and branches out through my children. What can I say? I’m invested in the betterment of the world.
Why do I got Johnny Cash on my brain? It must be the reference ‘ring of fire.’ That song is playing in my mind like Spotify on repeat. Why won’t it stop? Please make it stop. Bwaah! What else do I think about when anyone says ‘ring of fire?’ The feeling my throat gets when something majorly spicy hits my gullet. I feel like pulling a Fred as evidenced in above video.
I hate spicy food. Say it with me, I HATE SPICY FOOD! Sorry about the caps and the big old exclamation point. I just had to get my point across. I have a weak constitution. I know what you’re thinkin’: “You’re such a f***ing wimp!” See there, I can’t even spell out the ‘F’ word, even though it slips out of my mouth when I’m pissed off. Kind of pathetic, aren’t I? It just goes to show you that human beings are complex creatures, especially me.
I always make my fiancée order mild chicken wings when we order take out. I am not adventurous when it comes to what I put in my mouth. I’m rather picky where that’s concerned. I mean, I don’t want to be having the runs all night if I eat spicy food, not to mention, I would have to drink amazing amounts of water to cool my taste buds. I don’t think I’d ever survive. See what I mean? Wimp.
I used to have this awesome digital SLR camera that I just loved. I really went to town with that thing. I went all over town trying to compose some cool shots. But, that’s in the past, Unfortunately, I had to sacrifice my Nikon for my kids. The year 2012 was a little slim, financially and we needed a little extra moolah to cover the cost of Christmas presents. There went my buddy. I had to sell it on Ebay. But, it was worth it to see their happy faces on Christmas morning. Isn’t that way you do for your kids? No hesitation.
Here it is now: 2014 and I still miss having a camera. I’ve been borrowing my daughter’s camera to feed my photo fix. I hope to save up some money to get me another SLR and this time I’m not selling it for anything. Sorry kids!
So, I don’t really have a prized possession, per se. I do count my kids and my fiance as my favorite people in my life. But, I don’t see them as possessions. That’s just creepy. I am rather attached to my computer. So much so, my honey nicknamed me “computer whiz,” which I am not. If this sucker ever broke down. Well, let’s just say, I’d be awfully sad. And that reason would be I couldn’t blog regularly and keep up with my studies on writing.
When I ponder on what thing I hold above all else, I would choose my ability to write creatively. I’ve noticed improvement in my writing ever since I’ve been blogging every day. I’m lovin’ it and I just can’t seem to stop. I write whenever I can; in the mornings, afternoons, between household chores. For pity sake, I’ve even written in my notebooks while using the bathroom. I think I’m a little obsessed. If this is an addiction, I don’t want to be cured. Keep your twelve
step mumbo-jumbo away from me. I’m not buying. Just leave this forty-something lady in peace and let me write.
It takes a long time for me to express my anger at anyone. I’m a slow burn; I put up with a lot of crap before I do anything about it. I guess, my natural inclination is to keep the peace. Once I blast off, I tend to get over it. Somebody has got to really piss me off for me to still be grumpy about the situation. So, I decided to write a free verse about it. It’s just a piece I quickly wrote. Be kind with your words if it doesn’t please you.